Food for thought #11 (My Quest to Become A Quarantine Queen)

DISCLAIMER: I, like most of the world’s population, have been in quarantine for over two months and, with the newfound ability to see the light shining at the end of the metaphorical tunnel, thought it would be therapeutic (read: entertaining) to recap my time spent quarantining. Similar to my most recent posts written about Covid-19, this post is not intended to offend, or undermine the gravity of the pandemic; it is merely intended to make people laugh a little (or a lot) and, if I’m lucky, get a book deal. My love and thoughts go out to anyone affected by Covid-19. Enjoy and stay safe!

Food for thought #1 (Motivation sucks balls)

Motivation sucks balls. Like, really sucks.

Trying to find motivation – the motivation to do reading for a class you don’t like, to reply to emails you’ve had sitting in your inbox for nearly a week, to even wash your hair – is exhausting.

“I could never get mortal with my Grandma.” (Post 10.0: Finding Your Summer Purpose)

Dear whomever may be reading this,

I’m at the point in my summer break where I’m on a downwards spiral to eating myself into a food coma, killing off my braincells with mind numbing television, and living on the Land of the Broke with the ‘Online Shopping Receipts of Doom’.

To cut it short: I’m without a purpose.

“First year? Completed it, mate.” (Post 8.0: An Annual Recap)

Dear whomever may be reading this,

‘And so, with the leaves dancing in the breeze and flower petals blossoming, students all over the land threw caution to the wind and let go of their worries… as if they didn’t have to return to sleep deprivation, economic instability, and one too many tequila shots the following September. All was bliss.’

Is that not the best – most reminiscent with a hint of kick-ass – ending to a Bildungsroman (German for ‘coming-of-age’) novel ever? Like come ON, gimme some credit, guys!

I’ve not posted in a while, due to exams and other part of my life getting in the way. HA! In all honestness, I’ve been a tad busy; life for myself, at the moment, is a bit hectic. BUT, with exam season finished and the journey back home completed, I am all yours, interweb. You’re welcome.

To put it simply: I am back. Back again. Jen is back. Tell a friend.

“Monica Geller is my lobster.” (Post 7.0: Bucket List of a First Year)

Dear whomever may be reading this,

Now that exam season has begun – and students are in the midst of preparing to leave “Uni life” (and hibernate back home with free meals, television, and their own Wetherspoons) – the time has come to reflect on the past academic year.

“WORK. EAT. SLEEP. REPEAT.” (Post 3.0: Procrastination vs. Revision)

Dear whomever may be reading this,

I’ve watched five episodes of Modern Family (hilar), drunk two cups of coffee (STRONG), cleaned my bedroom (thoroughly), twice, and took several online quizzes about what kind of sandwich I would be – I’m a ‘Mozzarella, pesto and fresh tomato panini’ in case you were wondering – all to avoid revision.

“I’m a uni-fetus”. (Post 2.0: Workloads and Checklists)

Dear whomever may be reading this,

They always say the second album is the toughest – could the same be said for blogging?

So, new day (it is 1am and I am writing), new goals, and with new goals come new challenges. University is full of challenges: some new; some exciting; some fucking boring and daunting and seemingly-pointless, and others are simply marked with a Scarlet “(cb)A”.

This range of challenges may seem scary at first but do NOT panic, students, Mama LS gotcha!

“No one is… Kim Kardashian, except Queen Kim K herself.” (Post 1.0: An Unintentional Vent)

Dear whomever may be reading this,

I’ve decided to begin this blog to stop myself from killing myself, or others, and I hope that it acts as some sort of “sanity blanket”, or safety chair underneath the noose, to stop me from doing either of said acts.

Because you see, I’m a first year student – a… it’s a Disney character, newborn animal, pretty unsteady on ice, BAMBI – yes, you could call me Bambi. A poor, young, little, innocent deer. That’s pretty much what I am right now, except I’m not.